Out of Bounds – Jaelin Crook

The world is obnoxiously serious. But it doesn’t have to be. This column is testament to that. In a life full of nuisance, pain, and strife there can be found a rich abundance of hilarity and laughter. Sports may seem a trivial and complex choreographed performance, but it’s really just a game. And what are games? Fun. Just like this column.
I like to fancy myself a fine swimmer. By “fine swimmer” I mean I can float on my face without sucking in a gallon of water, and I can doggy paddle like nobody’s business. However, I never passed level six of swimming lessons, mainly because I sucked at the Butterfly, so anything more advanced is beyond me.

That’s why I talked to sophomore Jaelin Crook. I needed to get into the mind of a true swimmer and see what makes them kick. Pun intended.

What age did you stop using floaties?

“I don’t recall using them.”

What age did you decide you wanted to join a team that allowed you to competitively swim very fast?

“I joined a competitive team at age 6.”

If you had to listen to a Christmas song before every meet, which would it be?

“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”

If you could swim in a pool filled with something other than water what would it be?

“Jello, watermelon flavored.”

Would you rather set a new school record, or win the Showcase Showdown on Price is Right?

“Showcase showdown.”

What is your favorite Mean Girls quote?

“Boo, you whore!”

Approximately how many times have you peed in a pool?

“At least once every time I practice.”

True or false: Anne Hathaway is married…

“Yes, how do I know? I looked it up online.”

What fruit do you think bullies other fruit?


Would you rather mess up the words to the Star Spangled Banner at the Super Bowl, or wear your underwear on the outside for a year?

“Wear my underwear on the outside for a year.”

If you could travel back in time and punch one historical figure, who would it be?

“Julius Caesar.”



Me: Flippers

Crook: Zoomers

Me: Backstroke

Crook: Amy Boritzke

Me: Koala bear

Crook: Lion

Me: Shark Week

Crook: Greatness

Me: Dude

Crook: Where’s my car?

Gus Merwin
Sports Reporter

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