Review: ‘Dracula Untold’ Should Have Stayed Untold
Luke Evans plays Dracula in "Dracula Untold." Photo courtesy of sciencefiction.com.

Review: ‘Dracula Untold’ Should Have Stayed Untold

When your lead character is the most famous vampire of all time, it is an achievement for a movie to suck more than he does. This is one of the few compliments I have for “Dracula Untold.” My other compliment goes to Luke Evans, who plays our titular, undead protagonist. He is one of few people both onscreen and offscreen who seems like he cares about making a good movie. He brings a power and presence to Dracula that has not been seen from the character since Gary Oldman in the ‘90s. His performance leading an army in this movie makes me think he will be an impressive standout in December’s conclusion to “The Hobbit” trilogy.

Speaking of Middle-Earth, “Dracula: Untold” desperately wants to be “Lord of the Rings,” but falls short by one good director, three good scripts, and several hundred million dollars. The special effects often look cheap, and the bland, generic sets are far from the world of Tolkien and more like “Skyrim” running on a low- end computer.

The battle scenes are shockingly dull, too. Dracula slices and dices hundreds of foes at one time, somehow managing to do so without spilling blood.

Am I the only one who sees a problem with a PG-13 altering of this character? A Dracula movie without blood is like a Ninja Turtles movie without pizza. It is just wrong.

The bad accents are all wrong as well. It is hard not to cringe when hearing the goofy Transylvanian voices many of these actors put on. Some sound like they are channeling the Count from “Sesame Street.”

One of the better accents comes from Charles Dance. He plays the vampire who sires Dracula and is horribly cast. Though his performance is a great, his presence constantly reminds the audience how much they would rather be watching him in his other, far-superior medieval drama, “Game of Thrones.”

Ever since Bram Stoker published “Dracula” in 1897, the blood-sucker has remained truly immortal in pop culture, being reborn in countless film adaptations. This time, unfortunately, he would have been better off staying dead.

“Dracula Untold” gets five lame subtitles out of ten.

 

Brady Simenson

Contributor

bsime172@uwsp.edu

 

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