Review: March Out on the Penguins

I have a confession. I only saw “Penguins of Madagascar” because there were no new releases at the local theaters, but I needed to write something this week. I went by myself, because none of my friends wanted to go. A grown man alone at a movie like this is not a good look.

Was it a big deal I never saw any of the Madagascar movies this spun off of? I doubt this madness would have made any more sense. There were wise-cracking penguins who were also spies or something? Who knows?

They were saving the world because they needed to include a plot somewhere to give off the impression they were actually trying. I wish the ads could just be honest and say, “Give us money to distract your kids for an hour and a half while you nap in the car.”

For what it is worth, the kids surrounding me ate it up. I did too sometimes because the movie is funny and amusing, but only in a crazy, manic sort of way. It was like being force-fed cotton candy.

It is sweet and delicious at first, but soon you have the urge to blast colorful vomit all over the place. This is also a good way of summing up most of the movie. The brightest spots within this up-chuck were the talented voice actors and the sharp dialogue.

“Penguins of Madagascar” has plenty of funny zingers, but since they come at such a fast, frenetic pace it beats you over the head after a while. If every line is a zinger, they cease to be special. This movie is the annoying guy you know who insists on turning everything into a joke instead of leveling with you. In other words, this movie is me.

“Penguins of Madagascar” is a so-so movie that will be loved by the right audience. This is the film equivalent of a Japanese game show where crazy colors are flashing all over the place and nothing makes any sense, but everyone is so infectiously enthusiastic that you end up having some fun despite yourself. If you want the emotional nuance of Pixar, stay away, but if you want cute things saying silly things, this is for you.

“Penguins of Madagascar” gets 5 missing Morgan Freeman narrations out of 10.

Brady Simenson
Contributor
bsime172@uwsp.edu