Midwestern Style Staple Awakens Fashion Legend
Photo courtesy of 38.media.tumblr.com

Midwestern Style Staple Awakens Fashion Legend

A sock bun without the sock, baggy sweatpants, logo sweatshirts, Ugg boots and a Starbucks cup in hand describes the timeless look that epitomizes college fashion in the Midwest.

From year one to year four, but let’s face that there will probably be a fifth year too, the look carries University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point women through classes, dinners at Debot dining centers, dates with men in flannels and front-facing hats, athletic events and bathroom visits.

When I asked the deceased Coco Chanel what she thought of the look, her eyes lit up, miraculously.

“Midwestern women have a certain espionage about them,” Chanel said. “Their distaste for taste is the new ‘taste.’ No one does it better.”

Nothing but  the opportunity to speak about the fad could have woken her from eternal slumber. Chanel decided to approach women at the university and ask what inspired their looks. I accompanied her as she walked around campus, semi-ghostly.

“I spent five hours working on throwing my hair in a ponytail and forming it into a bun,” said Eyejust Woakuplikedis, self-proclaimed fashion major.

Photo courtesy of usmagazine.com

Photo courtesy of usmagazine.com

Chanel was floored. She spoke in her natural tongue to stress her disbelief.

“Cinq heures? Je ne le crois pas,” Chanel said.

Woakuplikedis could not respond. She was not a French major.

Luckily, I had taken three semesters of French and could translate: “5 hours? I don’t believe it!”

Still, Woakuplikedis was disoriented. The amount of time she had spent on her look caused tiredness; therefore, she was unable to reciprocate similar emotion. She warned about the dedication it takes to achieve the look.

“Just ask my friends,” Woakuplikedis said. “We all prepare our looks the night before, then get two hours of sleep maximum, all so we can look fabulous the next morning. It’s hard work, so you have to take that into account.”

Chanel could not believe Woakeuplikedis used the word “account;” nor could I. After having only two hours of sleep, Woakuplikedis was speaking at over a sixth grade reading level. We were amazed. Woakuplikedis is a shining example of how you can dedicate mutual time to studies and style.

Ryan Kernosky, admirer, agreed.

“It’s my favorite look,” Kernosky said. “Women dressing the way we do here is why I strive to get out of the buildings at the university, so I can compliment them. If I see a woman walking down the street in this fashion, I make an effort to tell them I admire their go-getter style.”

The look is attractive across the board. It awakens the dead, encourages sleep deprivation and inspires locals, bringing full circle, the ideals of college students in connection with their best style secrets.

 

Julio Saturday

Pointless Editor

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