The Quick and Dirty: Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

Communicating about sex can be complicated because it is a taboo topic in our culture. Most everyone does it, or thinks about it, but we don’t talk about it. When communicating with your partner about sex, here are a few tips to make your discussion less awkward and enhance your sexual relationship.

1.) Be nice.

Don’t blame your partner or they will become defensive. Be gentle and explain the problem in a direct, open manner. Indirect communication prolongs the conversation and makes the other person feel scrutinized if every small imperfection is brought up. Also understand that they may have some issues with you, too. Listen to each other and make sure you both have a mutual understanding of each other.

2.) Don’t make talking about sex too big of a deal.

Try not to make a huge deal out of the discussion. You don’t have to plan a formal weekly meeting to discuss your sex life. Bring up the topic in casual conversation outside of the bedroom. Do not start talking about sex issues when participating in it, unless it is positive and encouraging.

3.) Use humor.

Sources say that humor eases tension when talking about sex. Using playful talk and joking banter will let your partner know what you did and did not like. Positive humor is also more effective than negative humor, like sarcasm. Try reading a Cosmopolitan sex article with your partner and laugh at the goofy suggestions. While reading, you may find something your partner would like.

4.) Create an open dialogue.

Satisfaction with sexual communication is also positively associated with sexual satisfaction, relationship satisfaction and cohesion. The act of simply talking about sex is shown to enhance people’s relationships. Make sure to create an atmosphere where your partner feels comfortable talking about sex. Talking about sex on a daily basis outside of the bedroom will enhance the act of having sex.


Courtney Gonnering


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