Zombie movies are a lot like zombies themselves. They refuse to die.
Even if you love the genre, it is hard to argue that popular culture itself has not been oversaturated with all of the shambling, brain-munching repetition.
The creatures have become a sort of unofficial mascot for the young, modern nerd crowd that scoffs at sincere filmmaking and prefers to watch their movies ironically. You know, the people who get together with their friends to make fun of “Sharknado,” but have never bothered watching “Jaws.”
One mindless hoard has begotten another.
The newest moaning and stumbling film in this rotting cavalcade is “Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse” because why not make movies by just mashing random crap together?
“Oh man!” writes the pasty Redditor. “That sounds so bad that it’s good!”
Nope. Sorry. This movie is just bad in the good old-fashioned kind of way. Bad in a way that simply means the opposite of good. Is that allowed anymore? Can we dislike a movie for being dumb instead of ironically celebrating it? We should start with this one.
“Scouts Guide” was most likely written by a horny 14-year-old boy whose previous writing credits include memes and Youtube comments. The dialogue constantly begs the audience to laugh at how young and cool all of its references are. Characters make lazy jokes about taking profile pictures with zombies, and teens are supposed to crack up over how relatable that is.
The only thing redeeming is the cast, all of whom do their best to play this snarky mess of a script with as much sincerity as possible. The cast goes all-in on the madness and sometimes they even manage to make the cheesy humor work.
This is not a terrible movie, it’s just an aggressively mediocre one. Instead of reinvigorating the zombie genre, it leaves the undead continuing to crave what they so desperately need again: brains.
“Scouts Guide to the Apocalypse” staggers its way to 4 “Thin-Mint-lacking youth cults” out of 10.