Library Update!!!

[Editor’s Note: This article is a part of The Pointer’s annual satirical April Fools’ edition, the Pointless. Pointless stories should not be taken seriously on April Fool’s Day or any other.]

There has been so much buzz with the official opening of the library. Students, however, have begun to notice something strange.

One student said that when they picked up a new release, it was missing the actual book. That student, along with several others and counting, has said that the books are completely hollow.   

Business and English majors, finally having something to agree about after the Sentry Hall project announcement. They have noticed something just as peculiar. The Pointer was able to speak to a Business major who said that they went to pick up a Shakespeare book for their English class to discover that it was actually Dr. Seuss’s entire collection.   

The English majors are outraged with how these books have been treated. The Business majors seem excited about the fact that there are pictures they can look at in their required readings. The student body, as a whole, just want their books back!  

The Pointer was able to speak to a couple of librarians, who prefer to remain anonymous. They both shared that nothing is wrong with the books. They picked up a romance novel and were flipping pages, right before our eyes. 

They even picked up the same Shakespeare book and starting reading out scenes from Hamlet, Twelfth Night, and Romeo and Juliet. The Business major looked utterly baffled at the words the librarian was speaking, as if it were another language.  

At the Pointer, we are committed to tracking this story. We, along with all of our students, are hoping and praying for the return of our beloved books.

Tessa Krause

Contributor

tkrau957@uwsp.edu