Pointers Football Continues Reign of Terror
Feature image sourced from Creative Commons
[Editor’s Note: This article is a part of The Pointer’s annual satirical April Fools’ edition, the Pointless. Pointless stories should not be taken seriously on April Fool’s Day or any other.]
After a close game against UW Platteville, the Pointers have secured their 8th consecutive year as the Division III WIAC champions, garnering startled responses from local fans to NFL legends alike.
After a season of 7 straight wins and no losses, the Stevens Point Pointers have rounded out yet another amazing season of blowout after blowout.
The crowds at the games were checkered with scouts from a plethora of NFL teams, including the Packers and the Vikings.
“I’m just here to learn” said Patrick Mahomes, notepad in hand. “I owe a lot of my career to watching these guys play, learning their moves. Inspiring stuff, man.”
Since the Pointers’ victory, platforms like Twitter and Facebook have been awash with messages calling for the Pointers to be removed from the WIAC conference over concerns of their iron-fisted rule dissuading students from playing.
“They’ve had their time in the spotlight, it’s time to let the other teams have a chance!”, one twitter user wrote on Friday.
“I don’t see them as a problem” said Larry Smith, a sports columnist who has been covering the Pointers since their rise to power in 2016. “I see them as a great motivating force to new players. The higher standard will surely motivate players to train harder. We’ll see more athletes reaching their fullest potential, and we have the Pointers to thank for that.”
Stevie Pointer also chimed in on the victory. “The only thing I’m afraid of is this getting to the players’ heads. We need to stay focused and maintain our excellence to succeed next year.”
Stevie also admitted that his victory came at an efficient time, the wave of publicity overshadowing his recent affair in Pointer fan clubs and WIAC conference meetings.
“I’m hoping this will give me a second chance at life,” said Stevie.
With a life of fame and stardom ahead of them, the UW-Stevens Point football team begins training for the next year of excellence.
The Pointer reached out to UW-Platteville and UW-Lacrosse for comments but received none as of the time of publication.
Andrew Knoff
News Reporter
