New Solution to Dorm Overcrowding! A New Tent City on Campus!
[Editor’s Note: This article is a part of The Pointer’s annual satirical April Fools’ edition, the Pointless. Pointless stories should not be taken seriously on April Fool’s Day or any other.]
University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point students create a “tent city” as well as other unconventional forms of housing in response to dorm overcrowding during the Fall 2025 semester.
Where the UW-Stevens Point football team once held practice, hundreds of students have “set up camp” after dorm buildings filled up.
“It’s really not so bad once you get used to it,” said freshman Todd Leary. “I lost a couple toes during that cold stretch, but you don’t need that many anyway.”
Students have resorted to cuddling for warmth, effectively ending the loneliness epidemic. One couple whose frozen toes touched one cold winter night believes themselves to be a match made in tent heaven.
“I just really think that, like, we’ve just really trauma bonded. And it’s weirdly attractive when — of all the bodies piled on top of me — one guy just doesn’t smell as bad,” said Anja Mercedes, a sophomore musical theater major, on meeting the love of her life.
University Dining started offering discounted meal plans that work more fluidly with the “tent city” lifestyle. Rather than meal swipes or Dawg dollars, these students have the choice of 10, 14, 19, or 21 cans of beanie weenies per week.
Others have been more creative, like junior forestry major Bernie Woods, who built himself a treehouse in Schmeekle Reserve.
“I didn’t really know there was a dorm problem. I’ve kinda just been chillin.” said Woods.
When The Pointer attempted to further interview him, he scurried up his tree and started furiously shoving nuts in his face as though he were a squirrel.
“I recently discovered this guy living under my futon,” said Nathan Nalga, 21. “He smells like onions, but he doesn’t snore or anything. I’m sure it’s fine.”
We were fortunate enough to briefly interview This Guy
“I really like grooming Nathan’s cuticles while he’s sleeping. It’s therapeutic.” said Guy.
The desperation-fueled creativity of This Guy and so many others has been truly astounding.
The vast majority of students have been placed in proper dorm rooms, but there are some who prefer their new lifestyles.
“This is fine,” said Leary. “I saw someone nibbling on my old toes, though. Gonna get some thicker socks.”
Emily Konair
Contributor
ekoni601@uwsp.edu